Having a lot of secret smoke spots in school, as it turns out, meant having a lot of make out spots too. It isn't often that he can get Eddie to tag along but today he seems to have caught his boyfriend on a good day. Especially since Richie managed to get him to ditch lunch with the others to come to one of those spots for at least some time together. After all, everything had been hectic with graduation just around the corner that they hadn't nearly the time to spend together as Richie would have liked.
That's why he's more than grateful to have Eddie in his lap currently, fingers holding tight to the others waist and near melting into their kiss. It's honestly felt like a whirlwind since that night at Senior Prom when he had finally managed to do something right and kiss Eds like he had been wanting to since he was fucking thirteen-years-old.
Still he can't help breaking the kiss with a small, needy breath of air and his trademark shit-eating grin. "You sure I was your first kiss?" He murmurs as their lips brush together and he ultimately leans in to idly kiss at Eddie's jaw and chin. "Or is this one of those natural Eddie Kaspbrak abilities like your weird medical knowledge and distaste for my car?"
Again there is a grin as Richie leans back ever-so-slightly to glance upwards at the other with a hum. "Speaking of my car though. You should skip last period with me, we can head out and go somewhere for the weekend."
Richie seems to like the clandestine nature of their secret rendezvous in several hidden nooks and crannies of Derry High School, but Eddie's not as big a fan. They all smell musty or, worse, like stale cigarette butts, likely because of the piles of discarded cigarette butts littering them and Eddie's best guess is that most of them are Richie's or maybe Bev's. Still, it's important to Richie and it's not like Eddie doesn't enjoy being able to steal a quick makeout session somewhere hidden away and relatively safe. It's not like they can kiss at their lockers like the straight couples. Everything about this has to be hidden even though it's everything he cares about in the world.
So sometimes he indulges Richie because it's fucking bullshit that all the football players get to kiss their cheerleader girlfriends, pinning the girls against the lockers, and he and Richie have to hide. It isn't fair.
Today is one of those days because all he's got next period is study hall and he's already heavily steeped in his Senioritis, enveloped completely by a raging case of the FuckIts, so it doesn't really feel like he's missing anything important by sneaking out of lunch, knowing full well he'll most likely be late to the subsequent class period.
Eddie's catching his breath, still, when Richie makes his little comment and he'd normally snap back a quip, but instead, a soft little moan escaping him as Richie peppers kisses against his jaw and chin. "Don't forget my impeccable sense of direction," he mumbles quietly, wetting his lips and tilting his head back a little, inviting Richie to appreciate his neck in the same way the taller boy is doing with his jaw.
Instead, Richie leans back and Eddie groans a little, shifting uncomfortably in Richie's lap at the neglected ache that stabs in his groin when he realizes a few seconds too late that Richie's already worked him up enough for the stirrings of an erection. Not that those are hard to come by at his age, because fuck his life is why.
"I can't skip a whole class," he counters reflexively. "We'll get in trouble, man." Even as he's saying it, he knows how stupid it sounds, but it's true, so he swallows back the urge to walk it back.
Honestly, not matter how much he enjoys these secret little spots, Richie wishes he could just kiss Eddie at their lockers like any other couple. He wishes he could kiss him goodbye in front of his house or on dates to nice places when they weren't just pretending to be good friends and nothing more. He hates this has to be the only thing they had at times because they had been hidden away and safe in order to show their true affections for one another.
They hadn't even told the other Losers yet although Richie wonders if some of them, like Stan, didn't have an idea of what was going on. He knows, despite how careful he tries to be, that more than once he's caught himself staring at Eddie with the same eyes he's got now as he hears that little moan escape his boyfriend.
"How could I forget," he murmurs in an amused but proud tone of voice and although he's leaned back, Richie is quick to take the offered invitation even as Eddie counters his offer to ditch their last period of the day. He noses at Eddie's neck, humming before biting (gently, of course, they can't leave a mark somewhere so visible) at his pulse point. He continues kissing his way down, humming again before peeking upwards at Eddie.
"We're a week away from graduating. No one cares anymore, man." He huffs lightly with a laugh and adjusts himself slightly as Eddie groans and shifts in his lap. Because, yeah, the little noises are certainly awakening something in him as well.
But he gets it and returns to kissing and licking at Eddie's neck with an appreciative sound in the back of his throat. "But fine, whatever, we should still head out somewhere this weekend," he says thoughtfully but it loses itself in a groan Richie breathes out against Eddie's ear as he lifts his hips against Eddie's own in a search for friction.
"At least let me take care of you. I don't want you going off to class with a raging hard-on."
At the little nibble on his neck, Eddie hisses in a breath and shifts in Richie's lap again, his hands moving to tangle in Richie's unkempt mop of curls. Sometimes he's grateful that they've both taken to the intentionally messy style with their hair because it means not having to figure out how to smooth out and gel up after a makeout session like this one.
Richie does make a good point. He wonders if the teachers will even notice at they're gone, this late in the year, all things considered. Then he realizes that his teacher really won't notice; it's a study hall, first of all, in the library, second of all, and no one really takes roll call for it, thirdly. "Like where?" he asks breathlessly, letting out a shaky sort of moan, choked in his effort to keep from being overheard if someone happens to pass by, when he hears Richie making his own appreciative noises.
As his boyfriend's hips grind upward against him, Eddie shifts so that he's fully straddling Richie rather than just kind of mostly and sloppily, at that. Both of them are seeking out friction, so he might as well make it's easier. This is all new and exciting, still, to Eddie. It's been a few weeks, but they've mostly stuck to kissing, dry humping, and heavy petting. Every time they do something like this; every time he straddles Richie's lap and they press and move to rub their cocks together through their jeans, it sends a thrill through Eddie. Part of that is just the pleasure he derives from the subsequent sensations, obviously, but another part is the risque nature of the fact that they're doing it in secret, hidden away and just for them. As much as he hates that they can't be affectionate where people can see, he kind of loves the secrecy in hiding to do things like this because then it feels like it's just for them.
"Dude, we don't have any tissues. It's gonna make a fucking mess if you do that," he points out. It isn't an outright no, but he's hedging. Of the two of them, no matter what they'd been through four summers ago, Eddie's forever the more cautious and logical.
"Could always go to Bangor," he murmurs against skin. "Or even go to the coast."
Just somewhere out of Derry. Where the two of them could fucking forget this place and the "laws" they had to follow in order to have this. He's got more than enough money saved up from his random jobs for a weekend trip before graduation and before Bill got serious about them all taking one big graduation trip together before they all went off to different parts of the country for school or whatever else in some of their cases.
Not that any of that matters now with Eds moaning like he is. It just eggs Richie on to hear more even if he knows they've got to be careful about being overheard but that's where kissing came into play and they could just as easily cover it up. He moves and rolls his hips again despite Eddie's words, grinning as he shifts just enough for his hands to move from Eddie to the flannel wrapped around his waist.
"We'll just use this then," he murmurs nipping and sucking at Eddie's bottom lip.
"Could always suck you off too." He continues with another grin. "Won't have to worry about a mess then, huh?"
Eddie considers this. Bangor's kind of a haul for...what? There's fucking nothing cool to do in Bangor that won't cost them money and Eddie has woefully little of that at the moment. "Where would we even stay?" he asks. They could probably sleep in Richie's car, but they're going to be stiff and uncomfortable for days afterward if they try to sleep in that goddamned rollerskate.
The smaller teen's breath hitches when he feels Richie's erection pressing against his own just right, only for a second, before they've lost one another clumsily in their continued movements.
Eddie's eyes widen in horror at the suggestion. "No, are you fucking kidding me?! My mom does the laundry! I'll never be able to explain that!" he gasps, scandalized at the very idea of even having to try.
But then Richie suggests something completely new and it startles Eddie to a stop. He stills in Richie's lap, staring back at the other boy. "You want to suck me off?" he asks. It's tentative, like he's more worried about whether either of them is ready — or should be — to move to the next stage in their sexual awakening as such; not like he's not totally into the idea because he is totally into the idea. Then, almost as an afterthought, which makes him feel a quick stab of guilt, he asks, "well...what about you? You can't go back to class with a raging hard-on, either," he points out, partially because now Richie's got him curious what it might be like to suck somebody, namely Richie, off as much as he's curious what it'll feel like to have his cock sucked.
Richie can't help giving his boyfriend a quiet look before shrugging his shoulders because he had considered just sleeping in his car as a possibility. There were places where you could still just drive right up on the beach and it would definitely make for a good camping experience. Yet Richie knows how Eddie feels about his car and leans in to nuzzle at his neck again. "I could always put that fake I.D. of mine to use," he says ultimately. "So I'm sure we could find somewhere to stay for one night."
His own breath hitches as they press together just right and moves to seek the feeling out again despite the scandalized gasps of horror that come out of Eddie. "Fine, fine," he breathes out with a chuckle. "I got an old sweater in my bag we could use instead because thankfully your mom doesn't do my laundry."
Although he shifts a little to move, he stills just as suddenly as Eddie does and glances back at his boyfriend with a raised brow. He's not so concerned about if they're ready or not because (let's be real here) Richie has been thinking about this shit for years now but he still doesn't want to push Eddie into anything to fast or too soon for the other teen. He still grins at the question and chuckles, low, in his throat. "You don't know half the shit I wanna do to you," he murmurs as he glances upwards at Eds' face. The question is a good one though but, once again, Richie just shrugs and shifts just enough to try getting Eddie moving again. "I can just take care of myself at the same time, I guess."
Either way, he's not so worried about himself as he is about Eddie and carefully plays with the clasp of the other's belt with another hum. "So... what do you wanna do, Eds?"
Eddie opens his mouth to make a different suggestion but closes it again. No, he'd rather not camp out, even if it's a perfectly valid option. It'll be dirty and grimy or sandy and damp and literally none of that sounds at all interesting to Eddie. "Maybe they won't make you use a fake ID because you're with another guy," he suggests suddenly. Sure, Richie would get his ass carded trying to book a hotel room with a teenage girl...but maybe not with another boy. "Maybe there can be just one fucking thing in our favor." The rest of the thought surrounding their sexualities seems to go without saying.
If he didn't know better, he'd think Richie plans ahead for these little clandestine meetings. He has an answer to every potential issue Eddie can think of and that's...actually weirdly reassuring to Eddie.
There's something about the tone in Richie's voice and the way he looks at Eddie when he makes that confession that makes Eddie's stomach tumble rapidly and, if he's honest, it goes straight to his prick, making him shift a little on Richie's lap in response. Though, maybe that latter reaction is from Richie's starting to move again.
There's a thousand reasons why he shouldn't be offering this and all of them feel like good reasons with what little knowledge of AIDS Eddie has. He knows it's killing people in droves and infecting people even more rapidly...and he knows — thinks he knows — it's a gay man's disease. Which...he guesses he is, now, but he knows Rich is and has been.
A part of him is scared but the part of him that's curious is overpowering it and the words tumble out of his mouth before he can actually think about them enough to decide whether maybe he shouldn't say them at all. "Can I try? Sucking you off, I mean? And then, like, if I don't like it...then I could finish you with a handy?" he asks, wetting his lips nervously and finding his eyes shifting down to Richie's hands on his belt briefly before looking back up at Richie. "After you do me, or whatever?" he tacks on to let Richie know that he wants to try it and see if it's any good being on the receiving end.
"Come back here, kid, I'll blow you for free!"
The memory of the hobo with syph invades his mind unwanted and uninvited and Eddie shudders slightly, but tries to keep his expression from showing that the shudder wasn't a pleasurable one. It won't be like that with Richie. Richie doesn't have syphilis; he'd be rotting by now if he did. It's fine.
"Or..." he starts and shrugs, looking sheepish. "Is that okay or...?"
Graduation comes and goes and still, somehow, no one is the wiser about the state of the relationship between Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier. The sporadic inconveniences of having to pretend to just be best friends still persist now and again, but over the past month, Eddie's gotten used to it and he's started to find ways to appreciate, instead, the privacy and excitement that the secrecy affords them.
Eddie's mother had a fucking conniption when Eddie told her that the Losers were going on a camping trip in Vermont for graduation, but he's packed a bag and decided he was going anyway. The fact that he's terrified that she'd been right about all the myriad reasons it was a terrible idea for him to go camping with his friends is neither here nor there. He's doing this.
Given Ben moved before senior year and Bev hauled ass out of Derry ten minutes after walking the stage and taking her diploma, it's just down to him, Richie, Bill, Stan, and Mike, but he's sure they won't be lacking in fun, anyway.
The first day goes by way too fast for Eddie's taste, but he manages to mostly keep a lid on his reservations when they fish for their meals because Mike insists they try to at least once, and they swim in the filthy lake and set up their tents in the clearing between the woods and the lake. Night comes too quickly and, one by one, the others manage to drag themselves away from the dwindling bonfire and into their tents, in which only Stanley doesn't have to share.
He and Richie are the last ones up and as soon as Stanley disappears into his own tent, Eddie reaches for Richie's hand, giving it a little squeeze as he looks over at his boyfriend with a small smile. "Day one, survived without any malaria outbreaks or leeches, so I'd call that a success," he says, keeping his voice low to avoid disturbing the other Losers.
Richie tries not to think too hard on what graduation ultimately means for all of them. Ben's already left, moved somewhere out west and Bev was even quicker to hightail it out of Derry once she had her diploma in hand. He couldn't blame her given everything but it was still odd to have their little group falling apart as it were. It would only just get worse once fall arrived and they all went off to college which, again, Richie tries not to think about too hard.
Thankfully his parents could have given less of a crap about him going out of state for a camping trip. He could probably go to fucking Bermuda and they wouldn't bat an eye. He's glad though to see Eddie on the day they leave because he hadn't been sure that Mrs. K wouldn't have locked him in his room (or some other extreme) to keep Eddie from leaving for the trip.
And honestly? The first day doesn't go by quickly enough for him. He's caught himself staring at Eds more than once and quickly having to make himself look elsewhere least someone catch him staring at his boyfriend like some love-sick puppy. Thankfully there's plenty to do so between fishing and swimming and setting up their camp site for the night. It's only once night comes (and Stan has wandered off to bed) that Richie allows himself to finally look at Eddie with a goofy smile.
"You seriously think we're going to get malaria or attacked by leeches," he says with a low chuckle in an attempt to keep it down. Lifting Eddie's hand, he turns it over in his own and presses a soft kiss to the scar on his palm. "Babe, come on. We have a better chance of being attacked by Bigfoot."
(( ooc: I just have to state, for the record, for my own peace of mind: I disagree with Eddie's antiquated assessment of "gender roles" in same-sex relationships but it's the 90s and he's a teenage boy so I'm just gonna roll with him feeling that way. ))
"Bigfoot isn't even real," Eddie replies, rolling his eyes and smiling a little at the kiss to his scar. God, he hopes never has to honor the promise made the day he got the injury that created it. They killed It; he won't, he tells himself every time that thought crops up in his mind. "And mosquitoes carry malaria and they're real, very, very real. And so are leeches, so," he says with the sort of shrug that suggests a lack of interest in any opposing opinion. It borders on smug except that he's Eddie, so there's no smug about it.
Eddie finds himself leaning slightly against Richie. He thinks, but never, ever says, that he's probably the girl in this relationship. If that's a thing. That's got to be a thing, right? One of them needs to be and it's definitely not Richie with his trashmouth and big dick and taller frame. But then Eddie doesn't really mind if he's the girl. It just means that he gets to be the little spoon when they go to their tent tonight and that he can be the one to lean on Richie like this in front of the dwindling bonfire.
His fingers find the scar on Richie's palm and trace lightly over it before his attention moves back up to Richie's face. "I can't believe there's only two months left before I go to the City...it's so crazy," he murmurs and while he sounds thoughtful, he's actually scared. What does it mean for the Losers when the rest of them scatter to the winds? What does it mean for him and Richie?
"Will you still be with me when I'm gone?" he whispers, his voice lowered just in case Stanley hasn't fallen asleep yet, and yet the tone still manages to sound a little worried that the answer will be 'no.' That it'll be too hard and too much space between them, so why wouldn't Richie want to find someone he can actually physically be with?
"Bigfoot might be real," Richie replies in turn, grinning dumbly under his mop of curls at Eddie. And Richie knows that shrug so he just lets whatever ideas and retorts are forming in his mind go because he knows that Eddie is set in his nervous ways. He wishes that his words could just be enough to calm his worries at times but that was a lifetime of pressure from his mother to break.
None of that is important though. Important is Eddie leaning into him and giving Richie the chance to work his arm around him. This is the sort of stuff he lived for these days just being able to be close to Eddie. It was so hard when they were around friends because all he wanted was to hold him close, kiss him and everything in between. He hates that even with just the other Losers he doesn't know if its safe but this was just the way it had to be.
The tracing of his scar is quick to grab his attention and Richie smiles, a bit tiredly, as Eddie talks about the fact they'll only have two more months together before Eddie leaves for school. "Yeah, it's wild," he murmurs and briefly lets his hold tighten. He doesn't want to leave Eddie, he doesn't want Eddie to leave him but—
"Yeah, duh, of course," he says lowering his own voice. "Question is will you still want to be with me when you're out there in the big city." It's said with a grin but Richie does worry for similar reasons. What if Eddie found someone else? Someone closer?
"I love you, Eds. Have for a long time so there's no way you're getting rid of me."
"But he isn't," Eddie counters, wrinkling his nose when he catches that look on Richie's face and realizes that he's just ribbing him. "Dickwad," he adds, laughing, for good measure.
It feels nice to finally be at a point in the day where Richie can put an arm around him and Eddie can just curl against his boyfriend's side and not have to worry what anybody might think or say. It's just the two of them and the bonfire.
"I'll always want to be with you," he whispers back, giving Richie a small smile. He tilts his chin up a little, a silent invitation for Richie to kiss him because it feels safe; he doesn't hear the other Losers moving around in their tents and he can hear Bill and Mike talking quietly, but that just means that they probably won't hear anything else. "I love you, too," he adds quietly.
Just as Richie's about to acquiesce and kiss him, at least Eddie thinks, Eddie hears the metallic whine of a zipper being dragged rapidly open and his heart leaps into his throat as he sits up quickly, moving away from Richie in a reflexive movement that seems like a thing they've done a hundred thousand times even though the reality is, they've never had to.
His heart is racing; thudding so loudly in his chest that the other two must hear it when he looks over and sees Stanley frozen, halfway out of his tent and the look on his face, so carefully measured and caught between trying to parse what he's seen and trying to figure out how to react tells Eddie that he hadn't been fast enough in his attempt to disentangle himself from his boyfriend.
"...I just have to pee," Stan says awkwardly, pointing toward the woods behind the tent that contains Mike and Bill.
Eddie feels like he's going to throw up, but he nods. "Yeah, go wild," he says as casually as he can manage, but it comes out with his voice breaking in a way it hasn't since he'd been fourteen.
Stan looks over at Richie briefly as he finishes coming out of his tent and then he looks back at Eddie. He doesn't move toward the woods just yet.
Please, he pleads silently to God or whatever higher power might actually be there to hear it, please, he didn't see anything...
Finally, Stan points toward the woods just to let them know where he'll be, probably in case something happens, so that they know where to find him (or at least in which direction to start looking) and then he goes.
Eddie's heart is still slamming in his chest as he looks over at Richie. "Shit...fuck, shit...shit," he hisses when he's sure Stanley's out of earshot. "Did he see? Do you think he saw?" It's a stupid question because he's sure that Stan did see. And then he finds himself justifying that it's okay because Stan's really smart and maybe Stan's already known. He's always thought maybe Stan has an idea, so maybe it's okay. It's probably okay, right? If Stan already figured it out and never said anything, then maybe he still won't, right?
"Says you, asshole," he laughs with Eddie and pulls the other teen closer against his side. Richie's thoughts are not far off from Eddie's own and he finds himself utterly enjoying the feel of his boyfriend at his side, curled in close.
He can't help the soft, fond look that appears on his features when Eddie whispers that he'll always want to be with him and Richie is sure that his heart is beating so loud that Eds can hear it over the crackling bonfire. He reaches up, cupping the other teen's cheek as he tilts his chin and leans in close so that their lips are just barely brushing together when Eddie goes and says he loves him too. It was still utterly incredible that he got to hear him say that shit just still incredible that Eddie Kaspbrak loved him and truly meant it.
It's only a moment after he captures Eddie's lips that the harsh whine of a tent zipper opening sends Richie's heart dropping into his stomach. Eddie is moving before his brain can even catch up to what is happening which leaves Richie sitting there looking dumbfounded. A second later he's shifting in his seat and looking at Stan with a raise of his brow and a dumb grin, you know, a typical response.
"We're not stopping you, Stanny boy." He laughs casually with a wave of his hand.
Again there's pause as Stan looks to him before he notices the gaze flickering over to Eddie. Carefully, Richie glances to Eddie too from the corner of his eye and knows what is likely going through his brain right now. He finally lets out a slow breath of air as Stan he goes off toward the woods before Eddie looks to him in a panic and hissing out his concerns. Richie, in turn, can't help frowning lightly as he pinches a loose thread on his jeans and pulls.
"I don't know," he murmurs before glancing off to where Stan vanished into the woods. Honestly, like Eddie, Richie is sure that Stan has probably known for awhile what's going on between the two of them. Stan was like that. He noticed shit that the rest of them didn't even consider so this isn't out of the realm of possibilities and honestly?
"Who cares if he did," he says suddenly with a look to Eddie. "He's our friend. I mean, yeah, it'll probably be a surprise but I think it'll be okay."
He scoots closer and gets another arm around Eddie to bring him closer again. "They won't abandon us, Eds." It's said with the smallest of smiles as he leans in and does what he had been interrupted from before by capturing his boyfriend's lip in a needed kiss.
Eddie looks visibly surprised by Richie's certainty that Stan will be okay with what Eddie's pretty sure he just saw. It'd be one thing if they were just sitting a little too close, or something; that's something they could've waved away pretty easily, but nearly kissing?
He's always been afraid of what would happen if any of the Losers found out about he and Richie. They love each other, but will that really matter to their friends? Will it really matter how they feel about one another if the idea of two boys together creeps out their best—
only
—friends enough that they never want to talk to he or Richie again? What if they have to leave on really uncomfortable and bad terms with the others because they decide it's too fucked up to be friends with a couple of fairies?
But Richie sounds so sure — seems it, too, when he scoots back and draws Eddie closer to him again before kissing him. This time, instead of melting into it and relaxing like he always does when his boyfriend kisses him, Eddie feels tense and concerned. Which is not to say that he doesn't return it, because he does very much return the kiss in the hopes that it'll make him relax and feel calmer. It just doesn't have the desired effect.
There's a rustling in the woods that suggests Stan will be returning soon and Eddie sits up again, moving away enough to be able to easily wave away their proximity if Stan points it out. "You don't think so?" he asks, still uncertain even in the warm pool of Richie's confidence in it.
Stan does, in fact, appear from the woods again a moment later and he stops in front of them before closing the gap between himself and his tent. "I won't tell anybody," he whispers. "At least now I know I'm not crazy," he adds with a lopsided smile.
Eddie's confused for a few seconds before he realizes that it's Stan's way of saying that he'd already known which, Eddie supposes, he had known.
"G'night, guys."
Stan pauses just before he climbs into the tent and gives them a little nod. "Mazel tov," he adds before disappearing inside with another metallic whinge of the zipper, this time as he zips himself back into it.
Richie was right. Eddie's chest loosens a little, but he fishes his aspirator out of his pocket anyway, shaking it briefly before shoving it into his mouth and triggering it twice, sending two puffs of relief into his mouth and throat, exhaling relief as he pushes it back into his pocket. Eddie finds Richie's hand with his own again and he moves closer, leaning against Richie the way he had been before they'd been interrupted to begin with and Eddie smiles a little, stupidly. "And that's why Stan's the Man," he whispers, letting the relief settle into his bones, melting him against his boyfriend's side and allowing himself the luxury of taking comfort in that closeness again. He looks up at Richie only once he's settled a few seconds later.
"How'd you know he'd be cool?" he asks, genuinely curious where Richie's confidence comes from and, maybe if he's especially lucky, how the hell Richie can share even an ounce of it with Eddie someday before the summer ends. He'd much rather go out into the real world as a functioning adult if he had a little bit of Richie's bravery and confidence.
It's not hard to feel the nervousness swimming through Eddie's veins as they kiss and, yeah, he returns it but Richie can't feel Eddie relax like he normally might when he holds him like this. Maybe, just maybe, he is wrong and Eddie's worries are the truth of the matter. Just as quickly as the thought appears there is a lump of hate that he even considered it that pops in to take away that nervousness and fear.
After everything he just can't imagine their friends abandoning them. He might have thought along that line once upon a time but getting his shit together has proven wonders for his emotional state of mind. He loves Eddie, loves him with every fiber of his being and it was nothing he could change. It wasn't anything that he wanted to change. As long as Eddie wanted it then Richie wanted him at his side and, he hopes, his friends will be there with them too.
"No, I don't think they will," he murmurs in response. "You gotta believe a little here, Eds. I spent way too much time being scared of my feelings for you that I'm not gonna do it again. Not with my friends."
It's around that time that Stan does, in fact, return from his bathroom break in the woods. Richie can't help staring quietly before Stan (finally) speaks and he feels a rush of relief flood his veins. The lopsided smile is quickly returned and carefully, gently, he reaches for Eddie's hand with a sigh. Yeah, duh, of course Stan would have known. He's never been able to get shit by Stan and he doubts he ever will.
"Night, dude," he muses and watches as the other Loser vanishes back inside his tent and Richie can't help but laugh softly to himself. At least until he notices Eddie fishing for his aspirator and he frowns to move his hand to Eddie's back instead with a gentle touch. He's grateful that it doesn't turn into a panic attack and lets Eddie grasp his hand and move in close once again. The whispered statement gets another grin out of Richie and he nods, agreeing fully.
The question earns Eddie the sight of Richie raising a brow before he smiles, leaning in close to press a kiss to his boyfriend's forehead. "Because he's the best of us," he murmurs as if that would explain everything. "We've been through so much together and, you know, I'm tired of being scared. I shouldn't be scared of being in love with you especially not with our friend."
It's then that he leans back and nods toward their tent and offers Eds a small smile. "Anyway. You wanna go lay down?"
It's been a productive day, in Eddie's opinion. He and Richie have been to Eddie's campus tour at Columbia, the Empire State Building, and the Statue of Liberty, before heading back to the hotel room they both spent the summer saving up for by working crappy part-time jobs. Their stomachs had been full with New York pizza and hot dogs from a hot dog stand someone at Columbia had recommended and when they collapse onto the bed furthest from the door — of course they had to get a room with two beds to keep up appearances — Eddie finds himself hoping that the day doesn't ever end.
"Oh man, I don't think I remember walking that much ever," he laughs, sounding tired as he turns his head and smirks a little at his boyfriend. They both sorely need haircuts, Eddie finds himself thinking; Richie's mop of curls is even more overgrown than his own and both boys are tangled messes from the wind as they'd walked the streets of New York City.
Sighing happily, he reaches over and brushes some of Richie's hair out of his eyes. Eddie wants to card his fingers through it, but he knows all he'll accomplish is pulling the other boy's hair. "What should we do now? We have the rest of the evening and then half of tomorrow before we gotta go back..."
Richie knew that Eddie had been accepted into some crazy Ivy League school but this was something else entirely compared to anything they had experienced back in Derry fucking Maine. He tries not to let it show on his face as they are escorted around campus with other new students who had been accepted into the university. He feels like he stands out a like a sore thumb and keeps his head down for most of the time they spend on campus so he's thankful when they leave for the city proper.
And, yeah, they act like the pair of tourists that they are between seeing the sights and enjoying proper NYC street food. It's thrilling to be just be enjoying everything with Eddie at his side and, for a moment, he wonders if this might just be a little look into their future. Richie might not university bound like Eds but he could find some reason to get to New York and then the two of them could be together. They could get an apartment together, Richie would work his ass off and Eddie could enjoy his school life but they'd be together.
By the time they make it to the hotel, Richie is ridiculously tired from spending the day on his feet but still high in energy and happily collapses onto one of the beds once they are back safe in their room. At Eddie speaks, Richie turns his head and offers his boyfriend a lopsided smile that only grows as he reaches out to brush hair from his face.
The question earns Eddie the sight of Richie humming thoughtfully as his gaze flickers upwards to the ceiling. It's with a huff of air that he sits up and slides off the bed just enough to make a grab for his bag. With a smirk, he opens the bag and removes two bottles of what is clearly beer that rattle around with the others in the bag.
"Grabbed 'em when you were busy fawning over those Broadway pamphlets," he says with a laugh. "Guess that fake of mine was worth it, huh?"
Of course Richie's prepared. Eddie actually finds himself thinking it's kind of silly that he's surprised by that fact after knowing Richie for all these years. But after a moment, the surprise gives way to amusement and Eddie smirks after huffing out a laugh and shaking his head.
"Oh man, only you would take the opportunity to ignore cultural enrichment for booze," he jokes, but there's no sting in it and his eyes sparkle with the same amusement that he doesn't even bother trying to hide from his expression.
Sitting up as well, Eddie reaches out for one. It's the first time he'll be trying a beer, actually. He's tried liquor before because, hell, he hangs out with Richie. But it's usually hard liquor dashed into coke or something that'll hide it effectively so they can get away with it. Beer, though? That's new. It never occurs to him that the fizz inherent in it might be a problem; he's too worried about whether the flavor will be better or worse than what he's had before. He's banking on better, but there's only one way to find out.
"I can't believe anyone believed that ID, man, you're lucky you didn't get caught or carded by someone who actually fucking gives a shit," he points out.
"Compared to the shit we have back home? This is cultural enrichment," he shoots back with a laugh.
Richie moves with ease back onto the bed and passes one of the bottles off into Eddie's hands with a smirk. There's a small fumble but he eventually removes the tab from his bottle and takes a needed swig and then another. It's the sort of shit he needs in the moment especially after all the negative thoughts that have been crowding around in his brain threatening to ruin their good time as he realizes that they'll be apart soon.
Perhaps that what urges into drinking another needed drink of his beer before leaning in to capture Eddie's lips in a kiss. They haven't had a chance to really be affectionate, let alone kiss, since dropping off their things this morning. Besides- he's a needy bastard at the end of day and that is especially true when they're alone together like this.
Leaning back, Richie grins again and licks his lips playfully. "Lucky us, huh?"
Snorting a laugh, Eddie rolls his eyes. "You're an idiot," he replies, also laughing. There's no heat in the comment; in fact, he's endeared when he says it.
Eddie, too, fumbles a little with opening his bottle, but manages it just as he's about to give up and ask Richie for help. Richie's already drinking and Eddie's only just managed to get the damn thing open. He's able to get in a single pull off the bottle and he's still trying to decide how he feels about the flavor when Richie kisses him.
It's been a really long and very public-facing day, so they haven't been able to hold hands or kiss like they could down in the clubhouse in the Barrens or in the relative privacy of Richie's bedroom. So when Richie kisses him, Eddie nearly drops the bottle in his hand in order to melt into it. Soon, he won't be able to see Richie every day. Soon, this is going to be a long distance relationship and Eddie's scared of what that means for them.
If Richie's being needy, Eddie's entirely too busy being anxious to notice. When Richie pulls away, Eddie rolls his eyes and smiles again. "Yeah, lucky us. Man, Richie, you're gonna have to come down here all the time. This is way the fuck better than Derry. The fucking food selection alone is a huge upgrade, never mind all the cool shit there is to see and places there are to go." Eddie takes another swig at that and his nose wrinkles a little at the fizzy sensation that comes with it. "This tastes weird," he points out. Not bad. Just...weird.
Richie can't help grinning at the laugh that erupts from Eddie, biting his lip. "Yeah, maybe, I'm your idiot though," he says with another swig from his bottle. "Which makes you something of an idiot too."
He wants to lean in to capture Eddie's lips in another kiss but resists the urge to pick at that particular want for now. Instead he settles near his boyfriend on the bed, arm looped around his waist and pressing so close that Richie wishes they could just meld together. It's not hard to feel the anxious energy radiating off Eddie in the moment and Richie, in truth, can't help the sensation of worry building in his own chest.
Instead he focuses on how Eddie smiles and rolls his eyes. He breathes out a sigh but ultimately nods in agreement. "I'm just gonna have to move down here," he says with another swig of his beer. "I'll figure something out though- there's plenty of shit down here and then we don't have to ever fucking worry about Derry again."
His fingers tighten slightly around Eddie's waist as he says this before putting another smile on his face to focus back in on his boyfriend. There isn't a lot of surprise on his features when Eddie's nose wrinkles and he admits that the beer tastes weird. Richie can't help his laughter but manages to hide it behind his hand as he glances to his bottle with a hum.
"I got some wine coolers too," he says with a nudge. "You might like one of those better."
Grinning a little, Eddie shakes his head. "Yeah, you're my idiot," he replies fondly. "But I'd argue that makes me lucky, not idiotic."
Hearing Richie suggesting that he might have to move down to the City warms Eddie's chest and settles his nerves in a significant way, even if Richie doesn't actually mean it. Just the very idea of Richie being that close is reassuring. A lot of Eddie's anxiety is about what will happen with their relationship when Eddie has to come back here for the start of the fall semester, but a pretty significant part of his anxiety comes from being alone in a big city, too. It's reassuring to think that he might not actually have to do it alone.
"Really, you think you might be able to move here?" he asks hopefully. He feels Richie's hold on him tighten a little and, for the first time, he wonders if Richie has some anxiety around their impending separation, too, even though he's been acting like there's nothing to worry about at all.
Shrugging, he takes another drink. "I didn't say it was bad," he points out. But all the same, he looks curious. "Maybe after I finish this. What kind of wine coolers?" he asks, but he knows Richie will know that translates to 'what flavors' because, really, isn't that the part that matters the most?
There's something to be said about studying with friends. It can make things a lot easier because there are other people to bounce ideas off and ask questions of while trying to absorb the pile of mostly useless information in front of a person.
Or, if the friend is Richie Tozier, it can make things so, so much harder.
"Come on, fuckface, I'm trying to finish my homework here, but you're taking up the whole couch!" Eddie complains. He'd been trying to organize his flashcards, definitions he'd guessed correctly on one side, ones he knew he would need to study more on the other, and, in the middle, the ones he mostly knew but wanted to remember to invent some sort of mnemonic device for.
Richie, on the other hand, is entirely too interested in distracting Eddie to be of any actual help in studying. "You know, if you just helped, this would go a lot faster, man. I'm practically failing this class, I have to get an A on this test to keep from having anything less than a C on my report card or my mom's going to ground me for the whole fucking summer and then what?" he asks, frowning. It's the last summer before the remaining Losers will be scattered to the winds for college or whatever their next steps in life will be. He wants to be able to spend every possible minute of it with Richie and he can't do that if he's grounded.
Studying has always been a weird thing for Richie if he actually took time to think about it. He got good grades, good enough that his parents left him alone but Richie certainly didn't push himself harder than he needed. He still attended their study parties whenever they were held though if only to spend more time with his friends or in this case―
More time to spend with Eddie Kaspbrak.
"Then stop worrying about the couch, dumbass," he says as he idly reaches out to push Eddie's arms aside so he can lay his head down on Eddie's lap instead. He knows this will just cause more complaints from his boyfriend but this is a much better for him already.
He knows Eddie worries but Richie also knows that Eddie tends to worry about things to a level that is sometimes near overwhelming. Yet he knows that it just a part of Eddie as a result of his environment. He tries his best to calm down some of his worst moments but he doubts that it'll ever be something that will completely leave him but that doesn't mean Richie can't try and help. From his place on Eddie's lap, he gives a grin and reaches for one of the flashcards idly.
"Mm. How is this for help then? Every one you get right then I'll give you a kiss," he says with pursed lips.
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That's why he's more than grateful to have Eddie in his lap currently, fingers holding tight to the others waist and near melting into their kiss. It's honestly felt like a whirlwind since that night at Senior Prom when he had finally managed to do something right and kiss Eds like he had been wanting to since he was fucking thirteen-years-old.
Still he can't help breaking the kiss with a small, needy breath of air and his trademark shit-eating grin. "You sure I was your first kiss?" He murmurs as their lips brush together and he ultimately leans in to idly kiss at Eddie's jaw and chin. "Or is this one of those natural Eddie Kaspbrak abilities like your weird medical knowledge and distaste for my car?"
Again there is a grin as Richie leans back ever-so-slightly to glance upwards at the other with a hum. "Speaking of my car though. You should skip last period with me, we can head out and go somewhere for the weekend."
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So sometimes he indulges Richie because it's fucking bullshit that all the football players get to kiss their cheerleader girlfriends, pinning the girls against the lockers, and he and Richie have to hide. It isn't fair.
Today is one of those days because all he's got next period is study hall and he's already heavily steeped in his Senioritis, enveloped completely by a raging case of the FuckIts, so it doesn't really feel like he's missing anything important by sneaking out of lunch, knowing full well he'll most likely be late to the subsequent class period.
Eddie's catching his breath, still, when Richie makes his little comment and he'd normally snap back a quip, but instead, a soft little moan escaping him as Richie peppers kisses against his jaw and chin. "Don't forget my impeccable sense of direction," he mumbles quietly, wetting his lips and tilting his head back a little, inviting Richie to appreciate his neck in the same way the taller boy is doing with his jaw.
Instead, Richie leans back and Eddie groans a little, shifting uncomfortably in Richie's lap at the neglected ache that stabs in his groin when he realizes a few seconds too late that Richie's already worked him up enough for the stirrings of an erection. Not that those are hard to come by at his age, because fuck his life is why.
"I can't skip a whole class," he counters reflexively. "We'll get in trouble, man." Even as he's saying it, he knows how stupid it sounds, but it's true, so he swallows back the urge to walk it back.
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They hadn't even told the other Losers yet although Richie wonders if some of them, like Stan, didn't have an idea of what was going on. He knows, despite how careful he tries to be, that more than once he's caught himself staring at Eddie with the same eyes he's got now as he hears that little moan escape his boyfriend.
"How could I forget," he murmurs in an amused but proud tone of voice and although he's leaned back, Richie is quick to take the offered invitation even as Eddie counters his offer to ditch their last period of the day. He noses at Eddie's neck, humming before biting (gently, of course, they can't leave a mark somewhere so visible) at his pulse point. He continues kissing his way down, humming again before peeking upwards at Eddie.
"We're a week away from graduating. No one cares anymore, man." He huffs lightly with a laugh and adjusts himself slightly as Eddie groans and shifts in his lap. Because, yeah, the little noises are certainly awakening something in him as well.
But he gets it and returns to kissing and licking at Eddie's neck with an appreciative sound in the back of his throat. "But fine, whatever, we should still head out somewhere this weekend," he says thoughtfully but it loses itself in a groan Richie breathes out against Eddie's ear as he lifts his hips against Eddie's own in a search for friction.
"At least let me take care of you. I don't want you going off to class with a raging hard-on."
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Richie does make a good point. He wonders if the teachers will even notice at they're gone, this late in the year, all things considered. Then he realizes that his teacher really won't notice; it's a study hall, first of all, in the library, second of all, and no one really takes roll call for it, thirdly. "Like where?" he asks breathlessly, letting out a shaky sort of moan, choked in his effort to keep from being overheard if someone happens to pass by, when he hears Richie making his own appreciative noises.
As his boyfriend's hips grind upward against him, Eddie shifts so that he's fully straddling Richie rather than just kind of mostly and sloppily, at that. Both of them are seeking out friction, so he might as well make it's easier. This is all new and exciting, still, to Eddie. It's been a few weeks, but they've mostly stuck to kissing, dry humping, and heavy petting. Every time they do something like this; every time he straddles Richie's lap and they press and move to rub their cocks together through their jeans, it sends a thrill through Eddie. Part of that is just the pleasure he derives from the subsequent sensations, obviously, but another part is the risque nature of the fact that they're doing it in secret, hidden away and just for them. As much as he hates that they can't be affectionate where people can see, he kind of loves the secrecy in hiding to do things like this because then it feels like it's just for them.
"Dude, we don't have any tissues. It's gonna make a fucking mess if you do that," he points out. It isn't an outright no, but he's hedging. Of the two of them, no matter what they'd been through four summers ago, Eddie's forever the more cautious and logical.
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Just somewhere out of Derry. Where the two of them could fucking forget this place and the "laws" they had to follow in order to have this. He's got more than enough money saved up from his random jobs for a weekend trip before graduation and before Bill got serious about them all taking one big graduation trip together before they all went off to different parts of the country for school or whatever else in some of their cases.
Not that any of that matters now with Eds moaning like he is. It just eggs Richie on to hear more even if he knows they've got to be careful about being overheard but that's where kissing came into play and they could just as easily cover it up. He moves and rolls his hips again despite Eddie's words, grinning as he shifts just enough for his hands to move from Eddie to the flannel wrapped around his waist.
"We'll just use this then," he murmurs nipping and sucking at Eddie's bottom lip.
"Could always suck you off too." He continues with another grin. "Won't have to worry about a mess then, huh?"
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The smaller teen's breath hitches when he feels Richie's erection pressing against his own just right, only for a second, before they've lost one another clumsily in their continued movements.
Eddie's eyes widen in horror at the suggestion. "No, are you fucking kidding me?! My mom does the laundry! I'll never be able to explain that!" he gasps, scandalized at the very idea of even having to try.
But then Richie suggests something completely new and it startles Eddie to a stop. He stills in Richie's lap, staring back at the other boy. "You want to suck me off?" he asks. It's tentative, like he's more worried about whether either of them is ready — or should be — to move to the next stage in their sexual awakening as such; not like he's not totally into the idea because he is totally into the idea. Then, almost as an afterthought, which makes him feel a quick stab of guilt, he asks, "well...what about you? You can't go back to class with a raging hard-on, either," he points out, partially because now Richie's got him curious what it might be like to suck somebody, namely Richie, off as much as he's curious what it'll feel like to have his cock sucked.
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His own breath hitches as they press together just right and moves to seek the feeling out again despite the scandalized gasps of horror that come out of Eddie. "Fine, fine," he breathes out with a chuckle. "I got an old sweater in my bag we could use instead because thankfully your mom doesn't do my laundry."
Although he shifts a little to move, he stills just as suddenly as Eddie does and glances back at his boyfriend with a raised brow. He's not so concerned about if they're ready or not because (let's be real here) Richie has been thinking about this shit for years now but he still doesn't want to push Eddie into anything to fast or too soon for the other teen. He still grins at the question and chuckles, low, in his throat. "You don't know half the shit I wanna do to you," he murmurs as he glances upwards at Eds' face. The question is a good one though but, once again, Richie just shrugs and shifts just enough to try getting Eddie moving again. "I can just take care of myself at the same time, I guess."
Either way, he's not so worried about himself as he is about Eddie and carefully plays with the clasp of the other's belt with another hum. "So... what do you wanna do, Eds?"
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If he didn't know better, he'd think Richie plans ahead for these little clandestine meetings. He has an answer to every potential issue Eddie can think of and that's...actually weirdly reassuring to Eddie.
There's something about the tone in Richie's voice and the way he looks at Eddie when he makes that confession that makes Eddie's stomach tumble rapidly and, if he's honest, it goes straight to his prick, making him shift a little on Richie's lap in response. Though, maybe that latter reaction is from Richie's starting to move again.
There's a thousand reasons why he shouldn't be offering this and all of them feel like good reasons with what little knowledge of AIDS Eddie has. He knows it's killing people in droves and infecting people even more rapidly...and he knows — thinks he knows — it's a gay man's disease. Which...he guesses he is, now, but he knows Rich is and has been.
A part of him is scared but the part of him that's curious is overpowering it and the words tumble out of his mouth before he can actually think about them enough to decide whether maybe he shouldn't say them at all. "Can I try? Sucking you off, I mean? And then, like, if I don't like it...then I could finish you with a handy?" he asks, wetting his lips nervously and finding his eyes shifting down to Richie's hands on his belt briefly before looking back up at Richie. "After you do me, or whatever?" he tacks on to let Richie know that he wants to try it and see if it's any good being on the receiving end.
"Come back here, kid, I'll blow you for free!"
The memory of the hobo with syph invades his mind unwanted and uninvited and Eddie shudders slightly, but tries to keep his expression from showing that the shudder wasn't a pleasurable one. It won't be like that with Richie. Richie doesn't have syphilis; he'd be rotting by now if he did. It's fine.
"Or..." he starts and shrugs, looking sheepish. "Is that okay or...?"
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for hammocking
Eddie's mother had a fucking conniption when Eddie told her that the Losers were going on a camping trip in Vermont for graduation, but he's packed a bag and decided he was going anyway. The fact that he's terrified that she'd been right about all the myriad reasons it was a terrible idea for him to go camping with his friends is neither here nor there. He's doing this.
Given Ben moved before senior year and Bev hauled ass out of Derry ten minutes after walking the stage and taking her diploma, it's just down to him, Richie, Bill, Stan, and Mike, but he's sure they won't be lacking in fun, anyway.
The first day goes by way too fast for Eddie's taste, but he manages to mostly keep a lid on his reservations when they fish for their meals because Mike insists they try to at least once, and they swim in the filthy lake and set up their tents in the clearing between the woods and the lake. Night comes too quickly and, one by one, the others manage to drag themselves away from the dwindling bonfire and into their tents, in which only Stanley doesn't have to share.
He and Richie are the last ones up and as soon as Stanley disappears into his own tent, Eddie reaches for Richie's hand, giving it a little squeeze as he looks over at his boyfriend with a small smile. "Day one, survived without any malaria outbreaks or leeches, so I'd call that a success," he says, keeping his voice low to avoid disturbing the other Losers.
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Thankfully his parents could have given less of a crap about him going out of state for a camping trip. He could probably go to fucking Bermuda and they wouldn't bat an eye. He's glad though to see Eddie on the day they leave because he hadn't been sure that Mrs. K wouldn't have locked him in his room (or some other extreme) to keep Eddie from leaving for the trip.
And honestly? The first day doesn't go by quickly enough for him. He's caught himself staring at Eds more than once and quickly having to make himself look elsewhere least someone catch him staring at his boyfriend like some love-sick puppy. Thankfully there's plenty to do so between fishing and swimming and setting up their camp site for the night. It's only once night comes (and Stan has wandered off to bed) that Richie allows himself to finally look at Eddie with a goofy smile.
"You seriously think we're going to get malaria or attacked by leeches," he says with a low chuckle in an attempt to keep it down. Lifting Eddie's hand, he turns it over in his own and presses a soft kiss to the scar on his palm. "Babe, come on. We have a better chance of being attacked by Bigfoot."
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"Bigfoot isn't even real," Eddie replies, rolling his eyes and smiling a little at the kiss to his scar. God, he hopes never has to honor the promise made the day he got the injury that created it. They killed It; he won't, he tells himself every time that thought crops up in his mind. "And mosquitoes carry malaria and they're real, very, very real. And so are leeches, so," he says with the sort of shrug that suggests a lack of interest in any opposing opinion. It borders on smug except that he's Eddie, so there's no smug about it.
Eddie finds himself leaning slightly against Richie. He thinks, but never, ever says, that he's probably the girl in this relationship. If that's a thing. That's got to be a thing, right? One of them needs to be and it's definitely not Richie with his trashmouth and big dick and taller frame. But then Eddie doesn't really mind if he's the girl. It just means that he gets to be the little spoon when they go to their tent tonight and that he can be the one to lean on Richie like this in front of the dwindling bonfire.
His fingers find the scar on Richie's palm and trace lightly over it before his attention moves back up to Richie's face. "I can't believe there's only two months left before I go to the City...it's so crazy," he murmurs and while he sounds thoughtful, he's actually scared. What does it mean for the Losers when the rest of them scatter to the winds? What does it mean for him and Richie?
"Will you still be with me when I'm gone?" he whispers, his voice lowered just in case Stanley hasn't fallen asleep yet, and yet the tone still manages to sound a little worried that the answer will be 'no.' That it'll be too hard and too much space between them, so why wouldn't Richie want to find someone he can actually physically be with?
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None of that is important though. Important is Eddie leaning into him and giving Richie the chance to work his arm around him. This is the sort of stuff he lived for these days just being able to be close to Eddie. It was so hard when they were around friends because all he wanted was to hold him close, kiss him and everything in between. He hates that even with just the other Losers he doesn't know if its safe but this was just the way it had to be.
The tracing of his scar is quick to grab his attention and Richie smiles, a bit tiredly, as Eddie talks about the fact they'll only have two more months together before Eddie leaves for school. "Yeah, it's wild," he murmurs and briefly lets his hold tighten. He doesn't want to leave Eddie, he doesn't want Eddie to leave him but—
"Yeah, duh, of course," he says lowering his own voice. "Question is will you still want to be with me when you're out there in the big city." It's said with a grin but Richie does worry for similar reasons. What if Eddie found someone else? Someone closer?
"I love you, Eds. Have for a long time so there's no way you're getting rid of me."
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It feels nice to finally be at a point in the day where Richie can put an arm around him and Eddie can just curl against his boyfriend's side and not have to worry what anybody might think or say. It's just the two of them and the bonfire.
"I'll always want to be with you," he whispers back, giving Richie a small smile. He tilts his chin up a little, a silent invitation for Richie to kiss him because it feels safe; he doesn't hear the other Losers moving around in their tents and he can hear Bill and Mike talking quietly, but that just means that they probably won't hear anything else. "I love you, too," he adds quietly.
Just as Richie's about to acquiesce and kiss him, at least Eddie thinks, Eddie hears the metallic whine of a zipper being dragged rapidly open and his heart leaps into his throat as he sits up quickly, moving away from Richie in a reflexive movement that seems like a thing they've done a hundred thousand times even though the reality is, they've never had to.
His heart is racing; thudding so loudly in his chest that the other two must hear it when he looks over and sees Stanley frozen, halfway out of his tent and the look on his face, so carefully measured and caught between trying to parse what he's seen and trying to figure out how to react tells Eddie that he hadn't been fast enough in his attempt to disentangle himself from his boyfriend.
"...I just have to pee," Stan says awkwardly, pointing toward the woods behind the tent that contains Mike and Bill.
Eddie feels like he's going to throw up, but he nods. "Yeah, go wild," he says as casually as he can manage, but it comes out with his voice breaking in a way it hasn't since he'd been fourteen.
Stan looks over at Richie briefly as he finishes coming out of his tent and then he looks back at Eddie. He doesn't move toward the woods just yet.
Please, he pleads silently to God or whatever higher power might actually be there to hear it, please, he didn't see anything...
Finally, Stan points toward the woods just to let them know where he'll be, probably in case something happens, so that they know where to find him (or at least in which direction to start looking) and then he goes.
Eddie's heart is still slamming in his chest as he looks over at Richie. "Shit...fuck, shit...shit," he hisses when he's sure Stanley's out of earshot. "Did he see? Do you think he saw?" It's a stupid question because he's sure that Stan did see. And then he finds himself justifying that it's okay because Stan's really smart and maybe Stan's already known. He's always thought maybe Stan has an idea, so maybe it's okay. It's probably okay, right? If Stan already figured it out and never said anything, then maybe he still won't, right?
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He can't help the soft, fond look that appears on his features when Eddie whispers that he'll always want to be with him and Richie is sure that his heart is beating so loud that Eds can hear it over the crackling bonfire. He reaches up, cupping the other teen's cheek as he tilts his chin and leans in close so that their lips are just barely brushing together when Eddie goes and says he loves him too. It was still utterly incredible that he got to hear him say that shit just still incredible that Eddie Kaspbrak loved him and truly meant it.
It's only a moment after he captures Eddie's lips that the harsh whine of a tent zipper opening sends Richie's heart dropping into his stomach. Eddie is moving before his brain can even catch up to what is happening which leaves Richie sitting there looking dumbfounded. A second later he's shifting in his seat and looking at Stan with a raise of his brow and a dumb grin, you know, a typical response.
"We're not stopping you, Stanny boy." He laughs casually with a wave of his hand.
Again there's pause as Stan looks to him before he notices the gaze flickering over to Eddie. Carefully, Richie glances to Eddie too from the corner of his eye and knows what is likely going through his brain right now. He finally lets out a slow breath of air as Stan he goes off toward the woods before Eddie looks to him in a panic and hissing out his concerns. Richie, in turn, can't help frowning lightly as he pinches a loose thread on his jeans and pulls.
"I don't know," he murmurs before glancing off to where Stan vanished into the woods. Honestly, like Eddie, Richie is sure that Stan has probably known for awhile what's going on between the two of them. Stan was like that. He noticed shit that the rest of them didn't even consider so this isn't out of the realm of possibilities and honestly?
"Who cares if he did," he says suddenly with a look to Eddie. "He's our friend. I mean, yeah, it'll probably be a surprise but I think it'll be okay."
He scoots closer and gets another arm around Eddie to bring him closer again. "They won't abandon us, Eds." It's said with the smallest of smiles as he leans in and does what he had been interrupted from before by capturing his boyfriend's lip in a needed kiss.
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He's always been afraid of what would happen if any of the Losers found out about he and Richie. They love each other, but will that really matter to their friends? Will it really matter how they feel about one another if the idea of two boys together creeps out their best—
only
—friends enough that they never want to talk to he or Richie again? What if they have to leave on really uncomfortable and bad terms with the others because they decide it's too fucked up to be friends with a couple of fairies?
But Richie sounds so sure — seems it, too, when he scoots back and draws Eddie closer to him again before kissing him. This time, instead of melting into it and relaxing like he always does when his boyfriend kisses him, Eddie feels tense and concerned. Which is not to say that he doesn't return it, because he does very much return the kiss in the hopes that it'll make him relax and feel calmer. It just doesn't have the desired effect.
There's a rustling in the woods that suggests Stan will be returning soon and Eddie sits up again, moving away enough to be able to easily wave away their proximity if Stan points it out. "You don't think so?" he asks, still uncertain even in the warm pool of Richie's confidence in it.
Stan does, in fact, appear from the woods again a moment later and he stops in front of them before closing the gap between himself and his tent. "I won't tell anybody," he whispers. "At least now I know I'm not crazy," he adds with a lopsided smile.
Eddie's confused for a few seconds before he realizes that it's Stan's way of saying that he'd already known which, Eddie supposes, he had known.
"G'night, guys."
Stan pauses just before he climbs into the tent and gives them a little nod. "Mazel tov," he adds before disappearing inside with another metallic whinge of the zipper, this time as he zips himself back into it.
Richie was right. Eddie's chest loosens a little, but he fishes his aspirator out of his pocket anyway, shaking it briefly before shoving it into his mouth and triggering it twice, sending two puffs of relief into his mouth and throat, exhaling relief as he pushes it back into his pocket. Eddie finds Richie's hand with his own again and he moves closer, leaning against Richie the way he had been before they'd been interrupted to begin with and Eddie smiles a little, stupidly. "And that's why Stan's the Man," he whispers, letting the relief settle into his bones, melting him against his boyfriend's side and allowing himself the luxury of taking comfort in that closeness again. He looks up at Richie only once he's settled a few seconds later.
"How'd you know he'd be cool?" he asks, genuinely curious where Richie's confidence comes from and, maybe if he's especially lucky, how the hell Richie can share even an ounce of it with Eddie someday before the summer ends. He'd much rather go out into the real world as a functioning adult if he had a little bit of Richie's bravery and confidence.
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After everything he just can't imagine their friends abandoning them. He might have thought along that line once upon a time but getting his shit together has proven wonders for his emotional state of mind. He loves Eddie, loves him with every fiber of his being and it was nothing he could change. It wasn't anything that he wanted to change. As long as Eddie wanted it then Richie wanted him at his side and, he hopes, his friends will be there with them too.
"No, I don't think they will," he murmurs in response. "You gotta believe a little here, Eds. I spent way too much time being scared of my feelings for you that I'm not gonna do it again. Not with my friends."
It's around that time that Stan does, in fact, return from his bathroom break in the woods. Richie can't help staring quietly before Stan (finally) speaks and he feels a rush of relief flood his veins. The lopsided smile is quickly returned and carefully, gently, he reaches for Eddie's hand with a sigh. Yeah, duh, of course Stan would have known. He's never been able to get shit by Stan and he doubts he ever will.
"Night, dude," he muses and watches as the other Loser vanishes back inside his tent and Richie can't help but laugh softly to himself. At least until he notices Eddie fishing for his aspirator and he frowns to move his hand to Eddie's back instead with a gentle touch. He's grateful that it doesn't turn into a panic attack and lets Eddie grasp his hand and move in close once again. The whispered statement gets another grin out of Richie and he nods, agreeing fully.
The question earns Eddie the sight of Richie raising a brow before he smiles, leaning in close to press a kiss to his boyfriend's forehead. "Because he's the best of us," he murmurs as if that would explain everything. "We've been through so much together and, you know, I'm tired of being scared. I shouldn't be scared of being in love with you especially not with our friend."
It's then that he leans back and nods toward their tent and offers Eds a small smile. "Anyway. You wanna go lay down?"
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nyc trip;
"Oh man, I don't think I remember walking that much ever," he laughs, sounding tired as he turns his head and smirks a little at his boyfriend. They both sorely need haircuts, Eddie finds himself thinking; Richie's mop of curls is even more overgrown than his own and both boys are tangled messes from the wind as they'd walked the streets of New York City.
Sighing happily, he reaches over and brushes some of Richie's hair out of his eyes. Eddie wants to card his fingers through it, but he knows all he'll accomplish is pulling the other boy's hair. "What should we do now? We have the rest of the evening and then half of tomorrow before we gotta go back..."
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Richie knew that Eddie had been accepted into some crazy Ivy League school but this was something else entirely compared to anything they had experienced back in Derry fucking Maine. He tries not to let it show on his face as they are escorted around campus with other new students who had been accepted into the university. He feels like he stands out a like a sore thumb and keeps his head down for most of the time they spend on campus so he's thankful when they leave for the city proper.
And, yeah, they act like the pair of tourists that they are between seeing the sights and enjoying proper NYC street food. It's thrilling to be just be enjoying everything with Eddie at his side and, for a moment, he wonders if this might just be a little look into their future. Richie might not university bound like Eds but he could find some reason to get to New York and then the two of them could be together. They could get an apartment together, Richie would work his ass off and Eddie could enjoy his school life but they'd be together.
By the time they make it to the hotel, Richie is ridiculously tired from spending the day on his feet but still high in energy and happily collapses onto one of the beds once they are back safe in their room. At Eddie speaks, Richie turns his head and offers his boyfriend a lopsided smile that only grows as he reaches out to brush hair from his face.
The question earns Eddie the sight of Richie humming thoughtfully as his gaze flickers upwards to the ceiling. It's with a huff of air that he sits up and slides off the bed just enough to make a grab for his bag. With a smirk, he opens the bag and removes two bottles of what is clearly beer that rattle around with the others in the bag.
"Grabbed 'em when you were busy fawning over those Broadway pamphlets," he says with a laugh. "Guess that fake of mine was worth it, huh?"
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"Oh man, only you would take the opportunity to ignore cultural enrichment for booze," he jokes, but there's no sting in it and his eyes sparkle with the same amusement that he doesn't even bother trying to hide from his expression.
Sitting up as well, Eddie reaches out for one. It's the first time he'll be trying a beer, actually. He's tried liquor before because, hell, he hangs out with Richie. But it's usually hard liquor dashed into coke or something that'll hide it effectively so they can get away with it. Beer, though? That's new. It never occurs to him that the fizz inherent in it might be a problem; he's too worried about whether the flavor will be better or worse than what he's had before. He's banking on better, but there's only one way to find out.
"I can't believe anyone believed that ID, man, you're lucky you didn't get caught or carded by someone who actually fucking gives a shit," he points out.
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Richie moves with ease back onto the bed and passes one of the bottles off into Eddie's hands with a smirk. There's a small fumble but he eventually removes the tab from his bottle and takes a needed swig and then another. It's the sort of shit he needs in the moment especially after all the negative thoughts that have been crowding around in his brain threatening to ruin their good time as he realizes that they'll be apart soon.
Perhaps that what urges into drinking another needed drink of his beer before leaning in to capture Eddie's lips in a kiss. They haven't had a chance to really be affectionate, let alone kiss, since dropping off their things this morning. Besides- he's a needy bastard at the end of day and that is especially true when they're alone together like this.
Leaning back, Richie grins again and licks his lips playfully. "Lucky us, huh?"
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Eddie, too, fumbles a little with opening his bottle, but manages it just as he's about to give up and ask Richie for help. Richie's already drinking and Eddie's only just managed to get the damn thing open. He's able to get in a single pull off the bottle and he's still trying to decide how he feels about the flavor when Richie kisses him.
It's been a really long and very public-facing day, so they haven't been able to hold hands or kiss like they could down in the clubhouse in the Barrens or in the relative privacy of Richie's bedroom. So when Richie kisses him, Eddie nearly drops the bottle in his hand in order to melt into it. Soon, he won't be able to see Richie every day. Soon, this is going to be a long distance relationship and Eddie's scared of what that means for them.
If Richie's being needy, Eddie's entirely too busy being anxious to notice. When Richie pulls away, Eddie rolls his eyes and smiles again. "Yeah, lucky us. Man, Richie, you're gonna have to come down here all the time. This is way the fuck better than Derry. The fucking food selection alone is a huge upgrade, never mind all the cool shit there is to see and places there are to go." Eddie takes another swig at that and his nose wrinkles a little at the fizzy sensation that comes with it. "This tastes weird," he points out. Not bad. Just...weird.
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He wants to lean in to capture Eddie's lips in another kiss but resists the urge to pick at that particular want for now. Instead he settles near his boyfriend on the bed, arm looped around his waist and pressing so close that Richie wishes they could just meld together. It's not hard to feel the anxious energy radiating off Eddie in the moment and Richie, in truth, can't help the sensation of worry building in his own chest.
Instead he focuses on how Eddie smiles and rolls his eyes. He breathes out a sigh but ultimately nods in agreement. "I'm just gonna have to move down here," he says with another swig of his beer. "I'll figure something out though- there's plenty of shit down here and then we don't have to ever fucking worry about Derry again."
His fingers tighten slightly around Eddie's waist as he says this before putting another smile on his face to focus back in on his boyfriend. There isn't a lot of surprise on his features when Eddie's nose wrinkles and he admits that the beer tastes weird. Richie can't help his laughter but manages to hide it behind his hand as he glances to his bottle with a hum.
"I got some wine coolers too," he says with a nudge. "You might like one of those better."
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Hearing Richie suggesting that he might have to move down to the City warms Eddie's chest and settles his nerves in a significant way, even if Richie doesn't actually mean it. Just the very idea of Richie being that close is reassuring. A lot of Eddie's anxiety is about what will happen with their relationship when Eddie has to come back here for the start of the fall semester, but a pretty significant part of his anxiety comes from being alone in a big city, too. It's reassuring to think that he might not actually have to do it alone.
"Really, you think you might be able to move here?" he asks hopefully. He feels Richie's hold on him tighten a little and, for the first time, he wonders if Richie has some anxiety around their impending separation, too, even though he's been acting like there's nothing to worry about at all.
Shrugging, he takes another drink. "I didn't say it was bad," he points out. But all the same, he looks curious. "Maybe after I finish this. What kind of wine coolers?" he asks, but he knows Richie will know that translates to 'what flavors' because, really, isn't that the part that matters the most?
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for hammocking
Or, if the friend is Richie Tozier, it can make things so, so much harder.
"Come on, fuckface, I'm trying to finish my homework here, but you're taking up the whole couch!" Eddie complains. He'd been trying to organize his flashcards, definitions he'd guessed correctly on one side, ones he knew he would need to study more on the other, and, in the middle, the ones he mostly knew but wanted to remember to invent some sort of mnemonic device for.
Richie, on the other hand, is entirely too interested in distracting Eddie to be of any actual help in studying. "You know, if you just helped, this would go a lot faster, man. I'm practically failing this class, I have to get an A on this test to keep from having anything less than a C on my report card or my mom's going to ground me for the whole fucking summer and then what?" he asks, frowning. It's the last summer before the remaining Losers will be scattered to the winds for college or whatever their next steps in life will be. He wants to be able to spend every possible minute of it with Richie and he can't do that if he's grounded.
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More time to spend with Eddie Kaspbrak.
"Then stop worrying about the couch, dumbass," he says as he idly reaches out to push Eddie's arms aside so he can lay his head down on Eddie's lap instead. He knows this will just cause more complaints from his boyfriend but this is a much better for him already.
He knows Eddie worries but Richie also knows that Eddie tends to worry about things to a level that is sometimes near overwhelming. Yet he knows that it just a part of Eddie as a result of his environment. He tries his best to calm down some of his worst moments but he doubts that it'll ever be something that will completely leave him but that doesn't mean Richie can't try and help. From his place on Eddie's lap, he gives a grin and reaches for one of the flashcards idly.
"Mm. How is this for help then? Every one you get right then I'll give you a kiss," he says with pursed lips.